A manipulator will use pressure or guilt to get you to do things you don’t want to do—often things you don’t feel are right.
Whenever someone makes you feel guilty, uses disapproval or threats to influence you, or withdraws love or attention as punishment, that’s manipulation.
It’s a given that if someone is abusing alcohol or drugs the relationship will be unhealthy, but there are many other warning signs that you should be aware of. Any behavior that is aggressive is unhealthy, but actual physical abuse is just one type of aggressive behavior.
Any type of physical force is unhealthy—not only hitting or slapping, but pushing, and grabbing as well.
They may even call or drop by unexpectedly to “check up on you.” At first, this behavior might feel like intense love, but that’s not love, that’s stalking.
Often in a controlling relationship, the other person expects you to conform to their expectations of how you should look and behave.
They may justify their behavior by claiming they are only trying to help you make good decisions or that they know what’s best for you, but’s it’s really not about what’s best for you—it’s about their need for control.
All of us can be self-centered from time to time; it’s a necessary part of self-preservation.
Where selfishness becomes a problem is when everything revolves around how it affects one individual, with no consideration for the other person.